i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
