The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
