Who wears a wallet chain?!
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
