i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize