Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Let the clothes fall where they may.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
