Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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