I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
is that a dick in a sweater?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
