Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
