Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
