I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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