just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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