No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
pop tarts are not kleenex
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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