well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
