just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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