Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
