Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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