At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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