Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
