just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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