im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
