I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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