Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
