Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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