you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Houston, we have a blender
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
