can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
A+ Viking dick
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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