Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
