O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
