It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize