This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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