is your mom at the bar?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
