i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize