I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
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