Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
