Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize