direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
