I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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