and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
