I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
