Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I cut my penus on the lid.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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