it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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