A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
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