They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
