I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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