I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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