He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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