Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
