your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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