He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
