I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
