so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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