Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
