I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize