I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
