I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
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