it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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