Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
