Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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