Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Randomize
