At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
