He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
