he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
