I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
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