Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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