Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
do herpes really smell.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
