I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
There's even glitter on my cock...
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